Hey if youre reading this it means you and I both have run up against that “cant lose weight myth”, but we both chose to believe it. It wasn’t our fault though, because our parents, friends, loved ones, co-workers and even people who didn’t like us, were quick to tell us to give it up, you will never lose weight. Chances are if you were like me you started believing them at an early age, perhaps as early as 4 or 5.

On top of that if it was your child hood friends, they taunted you with sayings like “Fatty, Fatty, 2 By 4 you can’t fit through the bathroom door. All of this because you were overweight and it didn’t matter what you did, it seemed you couldn’t get it off.

Stop believing right now that you cant lose weight. I’m here to tell you that its a myth and you can lose weight I did.

A short while ago I weighed well over 220 pounds (I was small boned and only 5’6”, had high blood pressure, borderline diabetic and my personal life was in a total melt down. I couldn’t hold a job because of my health problems and the people I tried to work with were worse than children about me being overweight. I was the joke of the work place, so as soon as I couldn’t take it anymore, I did my best to get laid off so I could collect unemployment or I just quit.

I did that one too many times and my family left me. Obviously I hit rock bottom then. I made up my mind I had to win them back and that’s when I found out “you cant lose weight” was a myth.

Shortly thereafter I was watching the Dr. Phil show and he was talking to people just like you and me. You know the “fat ones”. He told those folks they had to stop believing they couldn’t lose weight. Right then is when I realized that was precisely what was stopping me. I believed I can’t lose weight.

As I continued to listen to Dr Phil what he said made more and more sense. To make a long story short what he said was I had to believe I could lose weight and that I would have to change my lifestyle to accomplish my weight loss goals. The fact is I started that very day.

My first step was to go to my doctor and have him check me out to make sure I could start an exercise program without killing myself. Then I contacted a friend from my church and we became accountable to each other for each reprogramming our mind and reaching our weight loss goals.

Now here’s the fun part, we began to challenge each other in our goals, changing our lifestyle (eating habits) and progressing from a slow walk to a faster walk. Today we are up to 3 miles in just under 36 minutes.

Was this easy? Heck No! But I have lost 53 pounds and my friend has lost 47 pounds. The important thing is we have gotten it off and kept it off for more than a year. I’m now working and my family has allowed me back into their life. Is everything rosy, no but it’s a whole lot better than it was.

I’m living proof you cant lose weight is a myth. You need to search your mind, dig deep into your gut, get a plan together and stick to it.

Tags: Being Overweight, Borderline Diabetic, Co Workers, Dr Phil, Dr Phil Show, Eating Habits, Health Problems, Hey, high blood pressure;, Job, Joke, Lifestyle, Lose Weight, Losing Weight, Myth, Parents Friends, Personal Life, Phil, Rock Bottom, Sayings, Truth About, Unemployment, Weig —

I Am Healthy
Kay Kopit

I Am Healthy
By Kay Kopit
It is amazing to be able to say that! I will say it again, I am a whole, happy, healthy, loving woman. I was sick for the first 40 years of my life. Like millions of other human beings I grew up immersed in the family disease of alcoholism. For generations it has plagued my family. The unbalanced life I led is so common in our society; I didnt know anything was wrong. I was a participant in the chaos, confusion, neuroses, pain and suffering, which is present in dysfunctional families. I call it The Dance of Death.

I grew up in St. Louis, Missouri in the community of Clayton. The only memories I have of my father are when he would beat my brother and me with his belt so severely my clothes would cling to the bloody strap marks on my legs. He would make us wait for our punishment in our room before he dealt the ugly blows. My mother closed her eyes to what was happening. Both of them partied on weekends where I would find empty highball glasses scattered all over the living room. I had holes in the soles of my shoes while my mother would model a new diamond cocktail ring, winnings from a weekly poker game. My dad was also a compulsive gambler. He died at the age of 45 when I was nine years old.

My mother attracted another alcoholic to her life soon after my fathers death. They had a symbiotic, codependent and alcoholic relationship. Every ten days they would consume a case of scotch, which was delivered to our apartment from the local liquor store. My mother never appeared drunk but she was distant, selfish and narcissistic. My stepfathers disease had progressed to the point he was visibly drunk most evenings. His attitude was condescending, nasty and self-righteous. He was verbally abusive and drove his car while intoxicated on many occasions. When I think back to that period of my history I remember keeping my personal life secret!!! I was ashamed of their behavior. I pretended all was well and I began developing neurotic habits for self-preservation.

In my teens I danced several days after school, participated in theater groups, worked in a department store and had creative life in my head. I imagined the way I wanted my world to be and was in denial as to the truth in front of me. I became obsessive, compulsive and an over achiever. Because I worked so hard I accomplished a lot for a young girl but the reality was it was inspired by fear, insecurity and a need for control.

In college I devoted myself to art and earned a B.S. in Education and a M.A. in Painting and Ceramics from the University of Missouri. I was hired as a college instructor soon after graduate school. I felt happy for a time because I was away from home and involved in teaching. I took my job very seriously but the loneliness I felt when I was by myself was debilitating.

I longed for love . . . any kind. I didnt realize it at the time but I had never felt affection. I became preoccupied with thoughts of men. I had guys on my mind constantly! I was popular and had many choices but I picked the ones who I thought needed me. Most often they were from dysfunctional families. I dated a lot of drunks during my 20s. It felt familiar. In spite of my success as an artist and a teacher, I had low self-esteem and I knew something was wrong with me.

In l969 I began a new life in another city. Within a week of moving to Boston, Massachusetts, I was brutally raped and hospitalized. I never received help with this trauma and didnt properly grieve until years later. I pushed down the pain and was then, more than ever, resolved to create the perfect life for myself, (as if it were in my hands?)
This was made easy for me when Joey Haudel entered my life. He filled the position of my Knight in Shining Armour, albeit, distorted. He was young, handsome, and alcoholic and had just been released from prison. We needed each other like ducks need water. We bonded in a codependent relationship that lasted 12 years.

Our experiences together were astounding. What I learned about myself was profound. Our journey is almost unbelievable. I have told this story in a dramatic narrative, I Survived: One Womans Journey of Self Healing and Transformation on DVD. It is filled with the dark world of illness and moves to the light of wellness. I reached my bottom after years of suffering. I was contemplating suicide but was saved by the Grace of God and the dear voice of a telephone operator who kept me on the phone for over an hour.

I spent years in recovery; beginning with Al-Anon meetings in 1973, several series of Adult Children of Alcoholic Therapy Sessions, individual therapy with numerous therapists and devouring self help books. I had the courage to look within and face the demons. It wasnt easy and many times I wanted to quit. I often felt I was too crazy to get well. One step at a time I forged ahead and never looked back! I visualized a healthy prognosis. Today I am living that beautiful picture!

I am happily married to a man 19 years my junior. I am older than his mother. We just celebrated our 17th anniversary and continue to share the most fabulous life. We have one child, a precious daughter, who we adopted at birth 8 years ago. I was 54 at the time. I am grateful that I am able to be a good parent and relish every moment I spend with both of them as a family. Sometimes I almost gasp for air when I realize I am living a balanced life. Each day I thank God for the gifts I have been given.

Sadly, Joey wasnt as fortunate as I. He died at the age of 42. My dear friend Debra took her own life in 2002. She too was alcoholic. I feel their presence; they are the angels guiding me in my mission to inspire people to their own healing and recovery. Lets continue to get well. We are all loving souls on an enlightened path of a new way of being, HEALTHY.

www.isurviveddocumentary.com

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About the Author

Kay Kopit, accomplished artist, actor, writer, speaker and gifted teacher.

Tags: actor, Al-Anon, Alcoholism, artist, artist and a teacher, Author, Boston, Codependent, Compulsive Gambler, Dance Of Death, Debra, Disease Of Alcoholism, Dysfunctional Families, Highball Glasses, I. He, Joey Haudel, Kay Kopit, Kopit, Liquor Store, Loving Woman, Massachusetts, Missouri, Neuroses, Neurotic Habits, Nine Years, Pain And Suffering, Personal Life, Poker Game, Soles, speaker and gifted teacher, St Louis Missouri, St. Louis, telephone operator, Unbalanced Life, University of Missouri, writer, www.isurviveddocumentary.com, Years Of My Life —